sympathy pains

my body aches. Every muscle feels like it has been building a house, hit by a truck, or body-checked too hard. None of that happened. Or at least not recently. It must be sympathy pains. My right ankle has been bothering me for months. I blame Jay McKee and his heroic shot-blocking. (Thank the angels he's still in our lineup though.) Sometimes when I go to take a step, one of my legs will decide to take a rest and I get off balance a little bit. This has happened since I was young. Happens to my sister too. We call it doing a grandma (because our grandma did it all the time, duh). "oops. I did a grandma there." Now I just call it sympathy for Orpik. I have carpal tunnel. My right wrist hurts like the dickens whenever it feels like it. Now? sympathy for DaddyGonch. Whenever I have a mysterious pain in an unidentifiable part of my body? Sympathy for Mr. Kennedy. My body even checked itself into the wall last night (doing a grandma on my way to let the dogs in). Hurt my shoulder a bit. It's okay now but still a bit sore if pressed or touched or thought about. So yeah. You get the idea.

I was telling a friend of mine how it's been... strange for me these last few games. I went into this season wanting to dislike or distrust Alex Goligoski because of my bitterness about Scuderi. I remember how I felt when GoGo signed that contract. I had a sinking feeling. My mouth had that bitter taste of doom and lots of goals against for a while (however long it took to send Scudsy to the other side of the country and for me to get over it... which hasn't really happened yet obviously. And you know what? SO WHAT if it never does? My heart may dwell on it forever. Leave me alone about it, man). I wanted to hate him and I wanted him to be terrible. I was worried about McKee but not really. I liked the idea of him and when we signed him I saw a rainbow. It was a faint rainbow, but it was colorful and pretty if I squinted and looked real hard through the darkness and bitter clouds of Scuderilessness. (If you notice, I even referred to McKee's play as heroic. A giant step for mankind... or at least penguinkind.) Anyway. So they're teamed together on the blueline. I'm cautious for, oh, 15 or 16 games while they're on the ice. And then Saturday's game came. No DaddyGonch, no Letang, no Malkin, no Kennedy, no Talbot. Lots of stomach turning and eye-watering. I found myself screaming 'WHERE IS MCKEE! PUT MCKEE OUT THERE!' 'WHERE IS GOGO! CAN HE COME BACK ON THE ICE PLEASE SO THESE IGNORANT PEOPLE WILL STOP SCORING GOALS?' So you see? There that is.

Look! The Penguins Game Day Report is up!!!!
Black is my favorite color.

Forwards Evgeni Malkin and Maxime Talbot have been cleared for contact and participated in the practice without their red jerseys. We will get an update from coach on their progress as well, but at least it's one small positive step for a team that has been ravaged by injuries.

shhh. Listen. That's the angels singing.

OH MY GOD! Malkin and Talbot are going to come back (someday?) and be saviors. I have an incredible urge to stand up and sing "You Are My Sunshine". Was that the song that somebody told me was about stalking? I forget. I don't care. Malkin in a black practice jersey makes me happy when skies are gray. HEY WHAT IF LETANG CAME BACK AT THE SAME TIME? Can you imagine? The very thought is making my eyes want to leak big happy tears.

It makes me think of this.

You know. Because the angel comes to save her.

So now no Orpik for two weeks. I wouldn't call that our biggest loss. Maybe 4th or 5th of the 6. 4th I guess. No 5th. Possibly even 6th. He's been playing like... nothing anyway. So whatevs. Maybe there is a curse on the temporary 'A's. They gave Billy G one and he stopped playing. I mean, like seriously, we would be better off being short-handed than having him on the ice at this point. Literally. The only thing he does when he is on the ice is give the puck to the other team.

Matt Cooke is going to score tonight. And I don't just mean in the sexual way. I mean he is going to get at least one point. I have been saying this for a while now. So it has to happen tonight. I have that sweet taste of Cookie in my mouth. I didn't mean that in the sexual way either but now I'm... wow. *pauses for daydream* What? Oh yes. Matt Cooke is going to score tonight. Remember Grease 2? You know the song. Sing it with me. Oh and please do feel free to replace any bowling references with the appropriate hockey ones. I'm too lazy to do it right now but I will when I sing it to make my husband go crazy.

Come on everybody, gather round.
I'm gonna show you how to knock 'em down.
When I'm on the ball, I'm the number one.
And I'm gonna show you how it's done.
Let's bowl, let's bowl, let's rock-'n-roll.
Hey, come on, let's get this show on the road.
Let's bowl, let's bowl, let's rock-'n-roll.
We're sittin' on a bomb that's about to explode.
We're gonna score tonight, we're gonna score tonight.
If you're lookin' for a fight, then the time is right.
We're gonna wipe the floor with you tonight.
We're gonna score tonight, we're gonna score tonight.
We're gonna rock, we're gonna roll,We're gonna bop, we're gonna bowl.
We're gonna score, score, score, score, score tonight!
Johnny: Screams... Hey Paulette, take a look over here, I'm your kingpin, honey, and I'm gettin' in gear!
Paulette: Hey Johnny, Johnny, go bowl that strike, and I just might be your baby tonight!
Let's bowl, let's bowl, let's rock-'n-roll.
Hey, come on, let's get this show on the road.
Let's bowl, let's bowl, let's rock-'n-roll.'
Cause the stakes are high, and the winner takes all!
We're gonna score tonight, we're gonna score tonight.
Don't get sore when you lose tonight,
We're gonna show you how to do it right.
We're gonna score tonight, we're gonna score tonight.
We're gonna rock, we're gonna roll,
We're gonna bop, we're gonna bowl........

Today is my dad's birthday. I don't think he would lose his shit if we lost another game (that'd be four in a row, folks). But. I would lose mine. And my daddy wants me to be happy.

*good vibes to the boys*

Let's get this done.