what a series

Games 1-6 had me so nervous that I thought I was going to throw up about 25 minutes before the pucked dropped for game 7. My stomach was flip-flopping. My shoulders were aching with tension.

When Marc-Andre made that first save on Ovechkin, the flip-flopping started to feel less vomit-inducing.
The Penguins, all of them, had swagger. They were cool. They were confident. They knew they were winning this.

Then King Crosby scored.

Then Craig fuckingAdams scored.

I've been waiting for and wishing for that during this series AND the last series. Most deserved goal that wasn't scored by Sidney fuckingCrosby (who deserves everything).

Then Billy Guerin scored.

Then? Lelover BLASTED one from outerspace. He fired that baby so hard and so dead-on perfect, it got stuck in the twine right behind Varly's head. He was so far away and at an angle that it seemed unlikely that it went in. That was a hard shot. Not a lot of players can do that. And he's a defenceman. For a solid few seconds nobody except Kris knew he scored because nobody knew where the puck was.

This picture makes me smile so much my face hurts. Great job, Mr. Photographer, catching Tanger and Geno in mid leap. I need to find a picture of him celebrating his goal while everybody else on the ice is looking around for the puck. Fucking awesome.

The Capitals pulled Varlamov out of his net. That kid is incredible. He certainly gave this town a lot to worry about for six games. The 7th obviously didn't go so well for him. MyTanger left him so rattled, they felt they had no choice but to pull him. Way to go, Varly. He's going to be very frustrating for every team that has to try to score against him.

Then Jordan Staal hung around with Theodore (Varlamov's replacement) until Satan could get him the puck. JStaal on the score sheet.

Jordan's sexy rattled Jose Theodore so much he let him hang around the net with him before letting him score. It's not all Jose's fault. JStaal is a monster and, if memory serves, he was the only Capital on the ice at that point. Or if they were, none of them wanted in that play.

Then Fleury started skating around the ice because he gets bored standing in the crease. So Ovechkin went behind the net with him. Fleury gave him the puck and let him go ahead and make a sweet turn to put it inside. It was pretty to watch. It was tight. Literally tight and figuratively tight. Fleury didn't get his shutout but Ovie deserved that. He was all over the place trying to do everything the rest of his team forgot how to do. He deserved that.

I can't remember if the Capitals second goal came before or after King Crosby's second goal so I'm just going to talk about Sid's.

Guys, Sidney Crosby is a teacher. He's a schooler. Everybody that plays with him or against him learns something. I was so worried that if the Capitals took this, everybody would say that Ovechkin was better than Crosby.

That is just not true. It's just not.

I am forever thankful that they don't have this series to try to argue that point. Their defense had no idea what to do when he was on the ice. So they just didn't do anything. They just let him face Theodore by himself. It was like a free shot.

Of course he was going to score. I don't think anybody doubted that. He's the best player in the league. Period. There's no reasonable argument. Even Semin had to admit he was stupid for saying Sid's nothing great. What a maroon.

At some point in the game, Ovechkin came flying over to Malkin to crush him against the boards. So Geno moved. This was what happened next.

Backstrom ate ice. Awesome. Even his own team needs to learn to be aware of where he is on the ice. He's dangerous, y'all. You'd think this idiot would know that. Ovie owed us and he's awesome.

I love this team. Every single one of them. I have nobody to exclude. Brooks Orpik played with his jersey covered in blood. Sidney spoke with his game. Rob Scuderi is a superhero. Kris Letang is the smoothest, sexiest hockey player I have seen in forever. And I mean "sexiest" in both being sexy and playing sexy. Mark Eaton had four goals in this series. He's a defenceman. He's not even an offensive defenceman and he had four motherfucking goals in this series. Evgeni Malkin has mad skills. We didn't get to hear about his skills a whole lot during this series but we got to see them. They just didn't all show up on the score sheet. The next series is his. I could go on about every player on this team. I love them all. I have so much pride.

People I will miss wathcing in the playoffs:
Simeon Varlamov. What a goalie. Any team that can include him on their roster is a lucky team. It will be impossible to not cheer for him when he is not playing against the Penguins. Without him, the Capitals would have lost in four, maybe five games.

Alexander Ovechkin. What a goal scorer. What a player. What a character. He tried to carry his entire team on his back after Varlamov fizzled. That's a lot to ask from one guy no matter how great he is. He said he hopes we win the Cup. What a competitor. What a man. He's still not THE MAN.

Because that's a title that our Captain owns. How honored are we to have him? How priveleged is everybody who watched that series? Game 7 was a master class. Every team should watch that game to learn some things. I hope they don't, but they should.

A friend of mine who argues with me about Ovechkin sent me an article and I got about halfway through it before I couldn't read it anymore without commenting on it. I'm going to paste my comment here because I feel like I need to pound this home.

This?

"The point is that Crosby makes the whole team better. He is a competitive person, but he is willing to share the spotlight with everyone."

Is the difference maker. When Ovechkin becomes willing to play the rest of the game and his team learns to play at all, the Capitals will be a better team. He is only going to get better. He went to school last night and had a crash course. You just watch him next season. No matter what anti-Ovechkin stuff I read, no matter how many people try to tell me why he's not great, I will argue. Alexander Ovechkin is a great player. I hate defending him but I hate all the negative stuff I hear and read about him even more. The "he's not that great" argument is ludicrous and silly. He is that great. He's just not as great as our Captain and our Russian. I am going to miss watching him and I will continue to watch him as long as he plays the game. He's amazing. He's not as good as Crosby because nobody is. He's not as smoothly gritty as Malkin because nobody is. My pride keeps overflowing out my eye sockets every time I talk, or read, or write something about last night's game so I have to stop now. Anyway, I wouldn't want to build a team around Ovie but I would very much want him on my team. I hope we can be done trashing Ovechkin for at least a few months now. But if his play last night didn't shut people up, I guess that's a far away hope. He tried so hard to rally and he played everywhere. He tried to do everything himself because his team gave up. That's honorable. That's a hockey player. That's a man. But people want to turn a blind eye to all of that because... because... You know what? I have no idea why people just can't admit that he's pretty freaking great and leave it at that. This is a game. All of these guys want their team to win. The great ones rise up and he has done that for the Capitals.

You know what sucks? There was so much build up to this game. The two best teams in the Eastern Conference. Forced to try to eliminate each other from the playoffs. When it should be these two in the Eastern Conference finals. Ovechkin. Crosby. Malkin. Who's the best? All the hype. All the media storylines. Instead of going out there and fighting each other and taking stupid penalties, they played the game. It was... wow. It was such a pleasure to watch and a lot of people aren't going to see that. It'll be viewed as a blowout. People changed the channel when it was 4-0 and Varly was pulled. That gets to me too. They pulled that kid and he's the one that made this game possible for them. This was hockey at it's finest and I am so, so very prideful that my team was a part of it. My team has skills and I feel like I should pay them for letting me watch that game. This game made me so very sorry that I ever gave up watching this sport with interest. This game reminded me why I cared so much about the Pittsburgh Penguins before. This game was possibly the best game I have ever seen. And I hope people remember it even though it was a skills game and not a cock fight. Because if we're fighting with our cocks, the skills take a backseat. I love that my team knows when to play the game and when to pull out their cocks.

I keep exhaling today. It feels like it's okay to just sit and breathe for a few days.

American Idol got it right and the Penguins rule the world. Yesterday was a good day.